I should tell you, I have always loved you
by mademoiselle-eponinethenardier
Summary: Her bony body deflated a bit more as she let out a heavy sigh. "Why do I even bother? Who would love a low-life like me?" She whispered her tone full of disappointment and Enjolras startled at how much it sounded like she was giving up on everything.
1. Chapter 1

_I Should Tell You, I Should Tell You _  
_I Have Always Loved You _  
_You Can See It In My Eyes_

Hearing the slam of the door, Enjolras leant up on his elbows, lowered his book and pushed his headphones down. This was the third time that week that the door had taken the brunt of Eponines pain, but the door had nothing on how Enjolras was feeling. It had been going on for too long.

He knew what was wrong already, he knew who would be the cause of her pain and he knew where to find her.

Eponine would go to the café. Marius would be there with Cosette and they would gush over each other all night next to Eponine, completely oblivious of the pain that they put her through, whilst the heartbroken girl would sit faking a smile to avoid conflict.

Standing slowly, he marked his place in his book and removed his headphones, placing them both on his bedside table as he pulled on a shirt and made his way down the hall towards a closed door. He stopped outside to calm himself before going in, but ended up resting his head against the door in heartbreak when he heard the soft sobs on the other side of the door. Eponine was trying to keep quiet to avoid waking or disturbing him, and it broke him even more to know how considerate she was being despite being heartbroken.

Slowly opening the door, he peaked his head in and let out a soft sigh seeing her in front of her mirror, it was the same all the time.

Walking forward gently he noted how her sobs softened as she tried to suppress them, "Eponine…it's Enjolras." he whispered, even though it was always him. He was always the one picking up the pieces that Marius stepped on repeatedly.

"I understand." A broken whisper filled the silence, and Enjolras crouched down behind her and placed his hand on her dainty shoulder.  
"What do you mean?" He asked, curiously.  
"I know why he doesn't want me. I ran into Montparnasse…even he didn't want to know me anymore." She clarified, a shuddering sigh shaking her bony frame.  
"It's my horrid teeth, the gap between them when I smile." She continued, not giving him time to interject. "It's how limp my hair is, Cosettes is like sunshine and silk, mines dirty and horrid." She half-heartedly ran a hand through her wavy dark hair, her lips twisted slightly downwards in disgust.  
"'Parnasse said my voice cuts through him, and how he could never stand to be seen with someone with such terrible language. If Montparnasse couldn't stand to be with someone like me, how could I even begin to imagine Marius could? He's so high up in society, why would he be seen with a gutter rat like me?"

Enjolras was speechless, the self-hate in her voice was ripping his heart in two and he couldn't find his voice.

"Marius is in University, he has goals and aims and he's so intelligent, he's going to have a brilliant job and he deserves someone who will be as high up as he…he needs a wife that will be respected and who will be admired, not someone who people would turn their nose up at. If I even dared to turn up at an event with Marius, the maids would have to follow me around to religiously clean any area I stood on or touched."

Her body deflated a bit more as she let out a heavy sigh.  
"Why do I even bother? Who would love a low-life like me?" She whispered her tone full of disappointment and Enjolras startled at how much it sounded like she was giving up on everything.

Suddenly his chest swelled with anger and he gently turned her towards him, using his finger to tilt her head so their eyes met. Light blue met chocolate brown, and it was startling how different each was.

He took a deep breath, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear and tracing his fingers down her jaw as he prepared to tell her his biggest secret.

"I do." He whispered, insecurity lacing his soft voice.  
Brown eyes swirled with confusion as she searched his face and her eyebrows furrowed slightly as she took in his words.  
"Yo-" He cut her off by placing his thumb over her lips gently and shaking his head.

"Please, listen to me…" He pleaded with her quietly.

"I love you.

I love the way you laugh when you're by yourself and something amuses you. I love the way you tilt her head a little, and the way your eyerbrows crinkle a little when you're confused. I love the way your nose scrunches when you're disgusted, or when you laugh really hard. And god, I love the sound of your laugh. It's the second most beautiful sound in the world."

"What's the first?" She cut him off timidly, swallowing hard.

"Your singing." He whispered honestly, smiling slightly at the shock that flashed across her face.  
"I hear it, when you're getting ready for work and think I'm still asleep. How you sing whilst you're in the shower, when you're getting dressed and how you sing softly when you're making your morning tea." His heart soared when he saw the smile play on her lips and the twinkle slowly started returning to her eyes.  
"It's the most beautiful sound I've heard in my life, literally music to my ears. It would be my pleasure if you would allow me to hear you sing more often." He smiled warmly at her.

"Marius is my best friend, but he's an idiot. I have sat back for far too long because I know you loved him… but Eponine, I'm in love with you and all that you are. I have been for some time, but I was too afraid to tell you, but I can't hold it back any more.

I want to take care of you, and kiss you every time I can. I want to hold you at night and watch you smile in your sleep, instead of sob. I want to tell you you're the most awe-inspiring sight I've ever seen, and I will make you feel it every single second of every day of every single year that we are alive.

Love me, please.  
And I will love you forever, and if even if you can't love yourself, I will love you twice as much in return, and I don't care if that takes forever, because I'm willing to be there to make it happen."

Enjolras finished, his eyes shining with honesty, and watery with unshed tears as he stared into the abyss of her eyes, begging her to understand that every word is true.

Eponine in return, stared back. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she processed what Enjolras had just told her.

Without warning she leant forward and pressed her lips against his, trying to convey all of her emotions into the fiery, passionate kiss. A few moments later, she pulled away breathlessly, her smile so big that it slightly hurt her cheeks, but for the first time in years; her smile was real.

"I love you." He whispered gently, leaning his forehead against hers as his fingers sought hers and entwined them. "I don't care how long it takes for you to love me, I'll be here. I'll wait for you." He smiled lovingly.

"I don't think you'll have to wait long at all." Eponine said gently, for the first time in a long time, she felt beautiful.

For the first time in a while, Eponine no longer felt on her own.


	2. Chapter 2- I almost do …

_**(Author note at the bottom! (: )**_

_**Chapter two- I almost do…**_

Enjolras woke the next morning, the birds chirping loudly outside his window, making him groan. He yawned loudly and his eyerbrows crinkled as he realised it seemed unusually bright in his room this morning. Slowly opening his eyes, he rubbed at them before glancing to the window and jerking his head back a little in confusion… those weren't his curtains… those weren't his jeans slung over the chair at the desk… and that wasn't his plant- his actually was alive!

"What the…" He mumbled, looking to his left and taking in the room before it dawned on him- last night.

He slowly looked and he couldn't help but smile broadly at the sight of the top of Eponines head resting on his chest, her hand clinging to his shirt as she snored lightly. It all came rushing back to him then; Eponine coming home upset, her harsh words about herself & best of all, his confession to her. He felt like a weight had been lifted off of his chest and he could breathe easier. He told her. He actually told her how he felt, and best of all; she returned his feelings. He didn't know if they were a couple…or if they were just in the limbo between friends and something more. He desperately wanted to be something more. He wanted Eponine to be his. He wanted this morning to be the same for the rest of their lives. He wanted to hold her when she was sad and make her smile again, make her smile the carefree, dimpled smile that he loved and adored. That smile that brightened up even the darkest and gloomiest of days. He smiled, revelling in the sun bathing the room in a glorious, silky light and the soft birdsong outside the window and the feeling the soft, smooth skin of Eponine laid against him, still fast asleep. Looking down at her face, his smile grew as he noticed that for the first time he had known her, her eyebrows weren't furrowed and her lips weren't pouted or pursed…he hoped that for once, she was truly lost in a good dream.

He wasn't sure how long he had been laid there just enjoying a lazy morning, when he felt Eponine mewl softly as she stretched, slowly awakening. He smiled, rubbing the top of her arm gently and kissing the top of her head; "Good morning 'Ponine."

She tensed, visibly swallowing hard before scooting back off the bed and standing on the other side, staring at him in hidden panic.  
"What are you doing in my bed?! We didn't…We didn't… we di-" she trailed off, suddenly no longer looking at him, now seeming to look through him instead, her mind elsewhere as she inwardly panicked.

"No! No, no, no!" Enjolras quickly said, jumping out of the bed and rushing round, desperate to soothe the frozen girl in front of him. "We didn't! We just slept." He explained, reaching out a hand to touch her shoulder gently, but to his alarm, she jumped back, pushing herself as close as she could to the wardrobe door. "Don't touch me!" she stuttered, turning her head down in fright.

Enjolras froze, horrified at her reaction considering how she reacted last night.  
"'Ponine…" He whispered, heartbreak in his voice.

"I think it's best if you left." Came the soft reply, Eponine still not looking up at him as she chewed her lip.

"Eponine, listen to me." Enjolras tried again, swallowing his pain.  
"Please."  
Her tone was the softest he had ever heard her speak, and it hurt him beyond words at how broken and small she sounded. He shook his head slightly in disbelief as he turned and walked towards the door, last night replaying in his head as he tried to figure out what went wrong in such a short period of time.  
"I'll wait for you, always." He turned to quietly say to the slightly trembling girl still stood against the wardrobe.

* * *

After a morning of going over what had happened in his head, Enjolras was surprised to realise it had turned 4pm…he had been sat in the same spot for over 4 hours with the pen held in his hand hovering over the half-finished paper in front of him. He had only been brought out of his thoughts when his stomach had growled loudly, prompting him to get up and get some food.

As he entered the hall, he glanced at Eponines door, seeing that it was still closed…had she even had anything to eat? He sighed, making his way into the kitchen and starting to make some food. Adding a little something onto a plate for Eponine, he made his way to her door and knocked softly.  
"'Ponine? It's me…I brought you some food?"  
He ventured gently, remembering her fragile state this morning.

When he was met with silence, he sighed.  
Was she ignoring him? Or…  
In a panic he opened the door and peeked in…to nothing.  
The bed was still the same as that morning when he left, his jeans were still slung over the chair, nothing had changed.

Except there was a distinct lack of the short brunette.  
Nowhere.  
He quietly entered the room, looking around, before noticing that her cell phone was still laid on the table.  
'She never leaves her cell around', he thought curiously, realising she was either in a big rush, or she had left unwillingly.

He had never dressed so quickly as he did then, rushing out of the door and to the café, panting as he entered in a burst of energy.  
"You look more eager to be here than Grantaire!" Bahorel joked, his eyebrows furrowing as he took in Enjolas' uncharacteristically dishevelled appearance.  
Joly had already stood up in a panic, his eyes worried. "Enjolras, what's wrong? Are you sick? Are you hurt? …Is it contagious?" He asked quickly, moving a few seats down the row quickly, away from Enjolras.

Enjolras took no notice of any of his friends as he looked among them for a familiar brunette… but to no avail.

"Eponine…" he started, before he was caught up in a hurricane of voices.

"What happened?"  
"Is she okay?"  
"Does she need us?"  
"Is she sick?"  
The last question came from a now very worried Joly, who looked more panicked as the moments went by.

"I thought she'd be here…" Enjolras trailed off, reaching his hand to his forehead and closing his eyes in defeat.

"What happened?" Marius was the first to ask as he stood and walked over to Enjolras, frowning slightly.  
"I…um…we…I told her…" Enjolras trailed off, before Grantaire spoke up; "You're blushing!" He called out, smirking. "What did you do, exactly?" He queried, his smirk growing as the time went on.

"Nothing! Oh god, we didn't do anything!" Enjolras was quick to explain, "I told her…I told her I l-loved her." He said softer, looking down as he wringed his hands on the bottom of his shirt nervously.

The rest of the ami's were uncharacteristically quiet, all of them in shock at the confession from the marble man who they had all assumed to be too involved with the future of Patria than any woman.

"I told her I loved her, and then we fell asleep…when we woke up, she freaked and kicked me out, and then when I went to check on her…her phone was laid on the side…and she was gone..."

* * *

**Author note;**

**So, as this began, I imagined it as a one-shot, just had the inspiration to write.**

**However, a few people favourited/followed it, and I had a flash of inspiration to make it a multi-chapter fic, so hopefully you guys won't be disappointed, I really wanna try keep regular with updates etc.  
Unfortunately, I don't think the next update will be until next sunday, or MAYBE throughout the week on monday/tuesday if I have the time, I'm at a concert and then West End Live next weekend, so if I have the chance, I'll try to write.**

**Thank you so much for reading this, I love you more than sparkles.  
And pretty please, if you have the time, please leave a review.  
Anything, anything at all is beneficial to me, my writing and the future of the story!  
Let me know if there's anything you'd like to see, something you'd like to see less of, anything at all!**

**Thank you. xxx**


	3. Chapter 3

(Authors note at the bottom, as usual. (: )

* * *

**Chapter 3-****My love, I'm going to the ocean. Let it swallow me whole.**

It had been three days since Enjolras had seen Eponine…Three days since she had cast him away… Three days since the sun hid its face and refused to shine in his world.

The rest of their friends had been trying desperately to try and figure out where she was, but without her having her cell phone with her, it was proving more and more tediously useless as the time went on. To tell you the truth, the rest of their friends were still trying to wrap their head around it all.

Enjolras, the marble man, had said he loved Eponine, the shadowed girl who fleeted in and out as she pleased. Had it been there all along without them realising? Grantaire had been sat in the café trying desperately to piece it all together, so much so that he had given himself almost a constant headache recently. He drank more than usual and was more subdued than anyone had ever seen him.  
How could he have been so blind?  
The way Enjolras always was the first to excuse himself after she left the café quickly…how Enjolras always had bags under his eyes and a hard time concentrating after she had had a particularly hard night.  
Looking back now, it was so obvious, but they had all missed it.

Enjolras sat on his windowsill looking out as the sun began its decent into night.  
'Where was she?' was constantly running through his brain, driving him mad. If he had said nothing, would it still be the same? Or would she be in the room next door, playing her music or singing as she wandered around her room?

The constant questions were driving him insane.

* * *

A week after Eponine had disappeared and the boys were downright restless.

Her door had been left permanently open slightly, never moved and everything in her room stayed exactly where it was. It was almost as if she had just vanished…well, that's exactly what it was. She had literally vanished into thin air and no-one had any idea where she was.

The ami's had managed to drag Enjolras to the café to try and get him out of the apartment for a change, although all he did was sit quietly going over the last few weeks in his head, wondering what had gone wrong and where it had gone wrong and just where was she?  
So it came as a surprise when Joly came rushing through the door and running over to their table.

"Guys! I heard news!" He quickly said, standing in front of them and wringing his hands nervously as he waited for their response.  
Enjolras' head snapped up so fast, it was a surprise that he didn't get whiplash.  
"Eponine?!" He quickly questioned, leaning forward as he waited with baited breath.

"Yeah! Kind of…" Joly replied, chewing at his lip uncharacteristically. "I saw that guy who always hung around her? M-something?" He racked his brain, trying to think, unaware that Enjolras' blood had ran cold.  
"Montparnasse?" He offered, praying with his entire soul that he was wrong but doubting he was.  
"Yeah!" Joly quickly replied, nodding. "I saw him coming out of the newsagents with some big bald guy…he was talking about 'his girl'…" Jolys voice got quieter towards the end, knowing that it wasn't at all what Enjolras would want to hear.  
Meanwhile, Enjolras had gritted his teeth and was glaring at a spot in the table in front of him.

"What did he say?" He demanded, his tone low and dangerous.

"He…He just said that he knew 'his girl' would be back soon enough, and that he was on his way back to her." Joly replayed the events of earlier sadly, knowing that it would be hurting Enjolras.

The rest of the ami's were silent as they waited and watched Enjolras nervously, who had stood up and was pacing quickly.  
"She said he was done with her! She wouldn't go back there…why would she reject me… and go back to that rat!?" He spoke with a growl to his voice and frustration in his tone.  
"I have to go get her. He's no good to her; she's in more danger with him than she was when she was out on the streets." He quickly told his friends, which caught their attention.  
They all remembered how she was before she had gotten her job at the café earning her money to share an apartment. She was always slightly on edge; if someone caught her by surprise she was always ready to attack, to defend herself against anyone. How she was always a little grubby, how her hair was limp and how she carried a knife tucked into the waistband of her skirts or trousers.  
Most of all, they remember the wounds and scars she had gotten when she was living on the streets, how she would cut them with her words if they so much as looked at her with any amount of pity or charity at all.

"Do you know his address?" Grantaire asked, standing up and preparing to go get his friend back.

Enjolras' face, which had been shadowed with anger changed at his words, and he sunk into a chair nearby, his head resting in his hands.  
"No." He whispered, "I wouldn't even know where to start looking." He replied, his voice full of sorrow.

The rest of the ami's suddenly deflated, they finally knew where she was…and they were powerless to do anything.

None of them noticed the small brunette stood just outside the window peaking in, or the tall, thin, attractive young male who quickly grabbed her wrist and dragged her away into the night…

* * *

**Authors note-**

I'm sooo sorry this is up later than I expected! I had the most perfect weekend, (I saw Les Mis, met Carrie & Tam AND got second row for WEL!? *This is what dreeeams are made of!*) but I also started my apprenticeship which I only heard about whilst I was in London, so I've been at work all day and then going to my second job on a night and I've just been exhausted haha.

But I'll try and update more regularly!

And thank you all so much for the views, reviews, follows and favs, it really, really means a lot.  
Please continue to read/review and so on, it makes me smile.

xxx


	4. Chapter 4- I grow weary

**Chapter 3-****Darlin' I grow weary, please won't you save me.**

Eponine perched upon a wall, staring straight ahead; lost in thought.  
It had been 2 weeks since the panic attack, and she had ran away from Enjolras.  
1 week and 4 days since she had ran straight to Montparnasse. And 1 week and 3 days since Montparnasse had kept her with him.

She supposed it was all her fault. If she hadn't had ran to him, he wouldn't have kept her hidden away. And logical thought may tell her to run as fast as she can, but it's not like that. It's never that simple when it comes to Parnasse. It was almost like he had eyes in every possible nook and cranny of the city, always watching, waiting and ready.  
Just when she thought she had gotten away and had a chance of going back to normality…and dare she say; going back to Enjolras, his sneaky arms slithered out of the darkness and around her waist, dragging her straight back into the nightmare.

She glanced across the street into an overgrown garden, flowers twisting this way and that across the gates that loomed tall and mighty.  
Looking further, she noticed a girl of around her age sat on a bench, a lovesick look on her face as she read the book in her hands… Romeo and Juliet.  
The girl heaved a soft, dainty sigh as she turned the page, before the door opened and a tall, elderly man emerged.  
"Come on Cosette, it is time for tea." The mans voice was soft and loving as he spoke to what Eponine assumed was his daughter. As the girl closed her book and walked past the man, he gently kissed the top of her head, before looking around the garden warily and closing the door.

Eponines stomach twisted in jealousy at how the man had treated his daughter. Such care and love in his gaze and in his voice whilst he said that simple sentence; Eponine had never received even an ounce of that kind of love and care from her own father…or anyone really…all except one person…

"Ponine!" a voice called out, breaking through her thoughts and making her involuntarily shiver as she tried to ignore it. She was enjoying this slight freedom as much as she could and was determined to cling to it for a tiny bit longer.

"Ponine, come here!" The voice called out again; louder, closer and angrier.  
Such a harsh change from the tone of the father towards his daughter.

Eponine quickly scrambled down off of the wall and ran back into the garden, ducking her head as she ran past Montparnasse and into the house. 'Parnasse, similar to the older gentleman, looked around the garden before closing the door, the heavy setting of the lock echoing slightly around the garden.

* * *

A week later, Enjolras was sat yet again in the café, staring down at the map in front of him.  
It was the same picture that all of his friends had seen since they found out Eponine was with Montparnasse… he was just staring at the map, trying to jog his memory and find out where he lived.

"Enj? It's closing time sweetie." Musichetta's voice drifted across the bar as she looked at him, pity in her eyes.  
Enjolras startled, looking up at her as his brows furrowed together in confusion, "What time is it?" He asked quietly, his voice scratchy from lack of use recently.  
"It's 12am honey." Came the reply, which startled him even more, he'd come here at 1 in the afternoon…time had flown and he'd not even done anything.  
"Right…uh, sorry." He replied, standing up and stretching his stiff joints as he gathered his belongings.  
"You okay getting home?" Musichetta asked gently, startling him again at how quickly and silently she had moved over to him as she passed him his coat.  
"yeah, I need to stretch anyway." He said, tipping his head slightly as he left the café.

The streets were unusually dark and quiet that night, as he made his way along the usual path to his apartment… it felt strange saying that now… 'his' apartment. He had been so used to calling it 'their' apartment.

As he got to his front door he looked up and his mouth fell open; the front door was open.  
He ran as fast as he could into the apartment, not bothering to think of danger as he looked around.

"Hello? Eponine?" He called out, hope gathering in the pit of his stomach as he saw her door more open than it had been left and he ran to her room, a smile gathering on his face.  
"Eponine, are you home?"  
He asked again, before he looked around the room and his face fell.  
The room was exactly as it had been left, nothing had changed…  
Sighing in defeat, he started to turn around before something caught his eye.  
A crinkled, quickly written note had been left on the bed.  
Rushing over, he grabbed it and started to read it quickly, before sinking to the bed.

'Enjolras,  
I wanted to say that I'm gone.  
Put the room up for rent, or whatever… **_I_**'m with Montparnasse now,  
and we're going **_t_**o move **_s_**omewhere and start **_a_** new **_li_**f**_e_** and a new family.  
I'd say I'm sorry… but I'm not.  
Say **_hel_**lo to everyone, I **_p_**romise I'll not forget them.

Eponine.'


End file.
